"Hidden Voices, Reflections of a Gay Catholic Priest."

"I've written this book to give voice to the thousands of hidden voices in the Catholic Church that feel the way I do and to give hope, albeit just a little, to those who struggle with the Catholic Church's stance on homosexuality.  What follows are some of reflections of what it means to negotiate life as a gay priest in the Catholic Church, to struggle with self and hierarchy, and to move from silence and shame to hope and forgiveness."


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"I am Catholic and I love my faith. I have struggled in the past to accept the Church's official teaching on homosexuality. I am thankful someone has written a book that gives insight into the PEOPLE who struggle directly. There are so many loving homosexual couples who bring much love to their relationships and families. I hope everyone who reads this book can see the beauty found in homosexual men and women. They are a gift to our church and should be welcomed with open and loving arms."
- Karen, (Posted on Amazon book review.)

"This book was not only well written but I loved what the author "has to say". I pray not only for the Catholic Church but for all the bodies of Christ to be accepting (not tolerant) of ALL people regardless of their orientation. I applaud the author's courage to speak what so desperately needs to be spoken."
- Lisa, (posted on Amazon book review)

"Hello, I am currently a gay, Catholic seminarian and I am so grateful that a priest has shared his experiences of being a gay, Catholic priest. This book is filled with compelling stories and real struggles, struggles that so many gay Catholics are facing right now. I applaud his courage to break the silence and for giving a voice to guys like me who are silent and struggling with the Church's teachings on homosexuality. Thank you for your witness of hope."
-Samuel, (posted on Amazon book review)

"I Absolutely loved this book. The honesty and level of sharing really made me think. My prayers are with all those who find themselves in a similar situation. We need priest like anonymous!"
- LBJ, Chicago

"I hope that all Catholics read this book. The book has really challenged me to tell my story. Keep up the good work Anonymous!"
-SW, Midwest


I have tried over the years to reconcile my silence as a gay priest with that of the Church’s increasingly antigay stance.  I have been unsuccessful.”  Pg iii

“At the heart of every authentic calling is the desire to live a life of integrity.  It was my desire to live a life of integrity that led me to the priesthood and it is that same desire that has led me to where I am today.  Initially, I was hopeful that I could figure out a way to have integrity while remaining part of a hierarchy that is anti-gay – I was unsuccessful.”  Pg iv

“In the end it became clear that I could not be both gay and a priest – that is, I could not live as a gay priest which means living in silence while publicly pretending to support the hierarchy’s teachings on homosexuality.”  Pg iv

“And I am not alone.  Like so many of my brothers and sisters called to the ministry, I believe the Church’s teaching on homosexuality has caused and continues to cause harm to many gay men and women, young and old, who are looking for acceptance and love but instead find silence and shame.”  Pg 2

“My struggle isn’t with being gay, it’s with the Church’s teaching on homosexuality and the way in which the hierarchy is interpreting that teaching regarding the homosexual person, the ordination of gay men, gay marriage, gay parenting, and especially the impact that this teaching has on gay youth growing up in the Church.  This is what I struggle with.”  Pg 3

“It’s hard enough to be a ‘straight’ teenager dealing with the standard ups and downs of hormones and emotions, but to be a teenager with same sex attractions in a community where your spiritual leaders, the people you look to for guidance and affirmation, are telling you that you have a disease like alcoholism and that you’re a threat to life—can anyone survive it intact?  Yet that’s precisely the message our Church is sharing.  LGBT youth are hearing that they are disordered, diseased, defective, damaged goods, wrong when they should be right.”  Pg 4

“It’s no surprise that so many teenage suicides are attributed to orientation issues.  Can we deny that we, as the Church, are part of those struggles, those deaths, that we, as the Church, are creating an environment that pushes kids into silence and shame?”  Pg 4

“I know I’m not the only one who believes it’s time for a change.  But as a member of the clergy, I also know I’m not allowed to publicly oppose these teachings, unless I’m ready to leave active ministry.  It’s an ongoing struggle of integrity for me—do I speak the truth in an age when the truth so desperately needs to be spoken, or do I remain hidden, practicing the ministry that God has called me towards as a Catholic priest?  It’s a choice none of us should have to make, a choice I daily have to make, a choice thousands of priests daily have to make.”  Pg 9

“The Church’s teachings and the way it’s being communicated by some of our bishops is disgraceful, harmful and even lethal.”  Pg 10

“’What is it you really want?’  My priest friend asks, when I describe my struggle.  After a moment I reply, ‘I want to be out.’  My response caught me by surprise because the moment I said it, I knew it was true.  I want to be out.  It came with such clarity.  I want the world to know the truth about who I am. 

In the weeks that followed that conversation, I began to realize that what I really want is the truth to be out.  I want the truth about homosexuality to be out.  I want others to know that homosexuality is a gift.  That you can live and love as God created you to love.  We are created by love for love.  Homosexuality is not a cross, it’s not a curse, it’s not an intrinsic disorder, it is a gift, created by love for love.  It is a life-giving gift from God that embodies the infinite ways God’s love can be manifested in our world.  That’s what I want.  I want the truth to be out.  I want people to know, to love and to respect one another by accepting this truth.”  Pg 27