I thought long and hard about this question. At first I thought, I can’t live without my Iphone. But, after thinking about it for a while – I realized that I probably could live without my Iphone. Don’t get me wrong – I love the convenience of it and all the stuff it does. But, if I had to, I could let it go. So, it’s not my Iphone.
What’s the one thing you can’t live without? Your phone? Your vaper? Facebook? Social media?
As you think about your answer. Let me ask you this question. How many of you answered the question by saying that the one thing I can’t live without is my anger and resentments towards someone or some event in my life.
We may not frame the question in this way, but I think it’s safe to say that many of us are carrying around anger and resentments a lot of time. In fact, it may even be difficult to think about life without them. We’ve become so use to them – that to not have them would feel odd, strange or unfamiliar. And to be honest, our anger may be justified – which makes it even more difficult to get beyond. You know, the kind of anger that comes from being hurt by someone we trusted.
There’s a story about Satan who one day decides to gather his followers and look for ways to convince people to fall from God’s grace and fall into despair. He gathers them together and asks, “Who’s got some ways that we can cause people to fall from God’s grace?” One of his new recruits stands up and says: “I know, let’s convince people that there is no God.” “Well,” said Satan, “That’s a good one and we’ve used in the past. And, we get some good results at least in the beginning. But even scientist have begun to understand that there is much more to the universe than their theories could ever explain, and even scientist come around to believing in God.” Another recruit stood up and suggested; “Well, let’s convince people that God doesn’t love them and that God doesn’t care about them.” “That too is a good one,” said Satan, “But even that one has limits. People eventually figure out that God is all-loving and cares deeply about them.” “Well, what do you suggest?” asked one of the recruits.
And Satan replied. “If you want to pull people away from God, just convince them not to let go of their anger and resentments. Once that happens, you just have to sit back and watch them fall into despair.”
Many years ago, in 2003, I was at the David Letterman show here in NYC. And, Aron Rolston was his only guest that night, which meant the entire show was dedicated to Aaron Rolston which if you watched the Letterman show, you know that’s a big deal.
Aron was a young engineer who turned mountain climber. One day while climbing in Utah, Aron got tapped by an 800 pound bolder for four days. He was out of food and water, and he had tried everything else he could think of to free himself. Nothing had worked. And so, left with no other option, he did the unthinkable, he amputated his arm, just below the elbow so that he could walk to safety. It’s an amazing story: how carefully he prepared to remove his arm with basically a pocket knife. And he tells the story in such a manner of fact way, as if it were happening to someone else.
This occurred on the National Day of Prayer in the U.S. And in Aron’s words, he reported that he could feel the support of all those people praying that day. And when he was asked how he could do such a thing he said; “You know, it really came down to a choice. I had to choose between one hour of pain and the rest of my life. Once I had that clarity, I knew I could do whatever it took to be free.”
Once I had the clarity, I knew I could do whatever it took to be free.
It was a choice between death and freedom. And once that became clear – and he was willing to do whatever it took to be free.
You see, Aron had to choose between death and freedom physically.
We on the other hand are asked to choose between emotional death and emotional freedom. And, emotional freedom comes when we’re willing to let go of our anger, resentments and fears.
What can’t you live without? Most of us would rather not admit that we’ve been carrying around anger and resentments for a long time. But when it comes to living a better life, a life free from anger, a life free from isolation, we need to look for ways to let go of the anger, resentments and fears we’ve been carrying with us. Aron did what he did alone and by himself – you do not have to. Talking with a professional therapist can help. I can help. Feel free to reach out at any time.