Do You Have A "Book Of Firsts?"

Do you know what a “Book of Firsts” is? It’s a book in which you record the first time you’ve done something.  These books are very popular at baby showers and can be called – “Baby’s Book of Firsts.”  I recently came across my “Book of Firsts”, which my mom had put together and I’ve posted a few pages so that you can get an idea of what I’m talking about. 

In this book is recorded my first day home, my first time meeting the family.  Also recorded is my first day of school, my first holy communion, etc., you get the idea.  Cute kid though – right? 

Do you have a “Book of Firsts?”  Since coming across my own book, I got to thinking, I wonder if might consider another type of book.  A “Book of Lasts.”  You might be wondering what that is.  Well, a “Book of Lasts” is similar only this time, you get to record the last time you’ve done something.  The last time you told someone you love them.  The last time you volunteered for a non-profit.  The last time you said you were sorry.  Now I suspect that you’re thinking: “How can I record my ‘Book of Lasts’ when I don’t know if is my last?  I don’t know when my last time for doing something will be!”

And you’re right.  We don’t know when our “lasts” will be.  And precisely for that reason – I think it can help change our perspective.  You see, I think knowing that we will all have a “Book of Lasts” can help us live each moment, each day as if it were our lasts. 

Can you imagine how different life would be if we did that?  How differently we might approach our day-to-day routines if we lived them as if we were recording them in our “Book of Lasts.” 

Can you imagine how different tonight’s dinner would be if we ate dinner it as if it were our last?  How much more would you enjoy the food, the company, the experience?

Can you imagine how different our last night at home would be if we lived it as if it were our last?  Who would you talk to?  Who would you spend time with?  What would you say?

Can you imagine how different your last cup of coffee might taste with your best friend if you knew it were your last?  How much slower you might drink the coffee, how deeper the conversation might be if you knew it was your last? 

What about your last load of laundry?  Last meal prep?  Last house cleaning?  How different would those experiences be if you lived them as if they were your lasts?

I think the point is, to live each moment as if it were our last.

So, as you continue your day, week, month and year… keep in mind that eventually, we will all have the pages recorded in our book of lasts.  And while we don’t know when that will be, we can try to live each moment right now – more fully.  

How to Survive a Storm

This saying packs a lot: “Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside of you and weigh you down.”  If only it were that simple.  It is not easy to differentiate yourself from others especially when we feel close to or connected a person who is struggling.  And yet, it is possible. 

Let’s take a closer look.  “Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.” 

There are two aspects of this worth investigating. 

1.       How do I relate to what’s happening around me?  We will react quite differently depending on how we relate.    

• For example; “The office building I’m located in is changing management and the lease is increasing.”  This will certainly impact my business, income, etc.  And while it will have an impact – there’s no need to let the water in.  It happens.  Life happens.  Rent goes up.  I change locations.  Life happens.  Another example: “A friend of mine accidentally dropped my keys down an elevator shaft.”  All my keys, car keys, house keys, office keys, etc.  In that moment, we both knew the keys were gone and we would be calling a locksmith to gain access to my car so we could head to our destination.  But… life happens.  Keys get lost.  Keys fall down elevator shafts for no good reason.  No ones to blame.  It just happens.  There’s no need to let the stormy water in my ship.  I can keep sailing just fine – albeit, a little bit late (and with less money) to my next destination. 

• However, there are some events, some storms, some troubled waters that are a bit closer to us.  Perhaps we are related to someone that is going through a tough time.  Perhaps a family member is confronting an illness, a divorce, a loss of some kind.  These are the waters that are much more challenging to not take in because we are related to them or relate more personally to the other ships that are taking on water.  When these events are happening, it’s important to remember that the best thing we can do is offer compassion, empathy, love and care.  Simply be there for the people who are struggling.  Listen to them.  Support them.  Sit with them.  Comfort them.  It’s nearly impossible to do this without taking in some water – or at least it feels that way.  Depending on how we relate, it will likely trigger many of our own emotions which have to be dealt with. 

2.       Secondly, we must consider the water itself.  It is true that ships sink because they take on water.  However, even ships that don’t take on water can get tossed around or capsize depending on the storm they find themselves in.  In other words, we may not be sinking but we’re sure getting knocked around a lot, causing nausea, motion sickness, etc.  Not sinking is great but the storms of life can cause damage and trauma in our own lives.  During these times, it’s important to recall that this storm will pass.  Calmer seas are coming.  The sun will rise.  We will not always be in the middle of a storm.  The phrase “this to shall pass,” comes to mind.  I say it often, especially when things seem so out of my control and there’s nothing I can do besides ride out the storm.

“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them.  Ships sink because the water gets inside them.”  This phrase posted on social media gave me the opportunity to reflect on the how I react to and relate to the events in my life.  If I want to keep sailing, I have to remember not to take on water while also responding to those around me who are in stormy waters with compassion, care, love and kindness.    

The Key to Joy and Happiness!

“SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF THE PICTURE OF WHAT YOU THOUGHT LIFE WOULD LOOK LIKE AND LEARN TO FIND THE JOY IN THE STORY YOU’RE LIVING.”

I absolutely love this saying.  I stumbled across it recently on social media and have been contemplating it’s meaning since. 

Letting go is such a tough thing to do – especially of our expectations.  We all have dreams and expectations of what we want and for the way we hope things will turn out.  But sometime, if not frequently, things don’t end up the way we want them to.  The pain comes when we hold on to what we expect as opposed to letting it go and embracing what we have.  That’s the key really to happiness and peace of mind.  Loving what we have or as the saying goes… “learning to find the joy in the story we are living.”  When we do that, we’re living in the moment.  And almost nothing can make us happier.