Sexuality & Spirituality

Do you know how to garden?

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You do not have to know much about gardening to know that you must plant seeds.  Even if you do not know anything else about gardening – you at least know that you must plant seeds. 

I would like to suggest that we are given the opportunity to plant seeds everyday of our lives in what we say and how we live.  We can plant seeds by choosing to build up and encourage one another – seeds of love, seeds of affirmation, seeds of encouragement and support.    

Or we can plant seeds that grow division, that tear down, that destroy another person’s reputation through our gossiping of them. 

We can plant seeds of affirmation and love or, we can also plant seeds of hatred and division – the choice is ours. 

I do not know if you have seen the Netflix special by Hanna Gadsby called Nanette.  But if you have not, I highly recommend it.  She is an Australian lesbian comedian who has mastered the art of comedy and storytelling.  She is brilliant.  And during the special, she starts talking about how much she hated herself for years.  A self-hatred deeply rooted in her and how she says she must give up comedy because the only comedy she knew how to do for the longest time was self-deprecating humor. 

And she says this about self-hatred; “Self-hatred is only ever a seed planted from the outside in but when you do that to a child that becomes a weed that grows so fast that a child doesn’t know any difference.  It becomes its natural depravity.” 

“Self-hatred is always a seed planted from the outside in.”

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We have an opportunity to recognize the enormous power we have, to plant seeds of affirmation and love.  Our words matter. 

I remember once telling a friend of mine how much I hate going to Six Flags.  As a younger priest in the parish, the youth groups would always go to Six Flags over the summer, sometimes, multiple times.  And I would go.  But I hated the heat and the discomfort of being hot and stuck on a ride in a seat I could barely fit in, and… I hated waiting in long lines for a ride which would make me nauseous.

So, this friend after hearing me complain about waiting in long lines asked, “Than why do you go?” 

“I go,” I said, “because I get to wait in line.” 

And then I explained, the purpose of going is so that I can wait in line with the youth of my parish.  We get to hang out, spend time together, I get to hear their stories, what kind of music they listen to, what they’re interested in, who’s dating who and who has a crush on who.  And, I get to plant seeds, seeds of affirmation, seeds of support, seeds of love.  And it never fails, as these young people get older, and when they find their seeds fell on rocky ground and they needed to talk, they would often reach out to me because they knew I was approachable, they knew I would listen, they knew I would support them.   

Our words matter.  It matters how we speak to each other, how we treat each other, how we affirm each other.  My trips to Six Flags taught me the importance of waiting in line and the power of planting seeds.   

And then I explained, the purpose of going is so that I can wait in line with the youth of my parish.  We get to hang out, spend time together, I get to hear their stories, what kind of music they listen to, what they’re interested in, who’s dating who and who has a crush on who.  And, I get to plant seeds, seeds of affirmation, seeds of support, seeds of love.  And it never fails, as these young people get older, and when they find their seeds fell on rocky ground and they needed to talk, they would often reach out to me because they knew I was approachable, they knew I would listen, they knew I would support them.   

Our words matter.  It matters how we speak to each other, how we treat each other, how we affirm each other.  My trips to Six Flags taught me the importance of waiting in line and the power of planting seeds.   

And then I explained, the purpose of going is so that I can wait in line with the youth of my parish.  We get to hang out, spend time together, I get to hear their stories, what kind of music they listen to, what they’re interested in, who’s dating who and who has a crush on who.  And, I get to plant seeds, seeds of affirmation, seeds of support, seeds of love.  And it never fails, as these young people get older, and when they find their seeds fell on rocky ground and they needed to talk, they would often reach out to me because they knew I was approachable, they knew I would listen, they knew I would support them.   

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Our words matter.  It matters how we speak to each other, how we treat each other, how we affirm each other.  My trips to Six Flags taught me the importance of waiting in line and the power of planting seeds.   

Do you know how to garden?  You do not have to know much about gardening to know that you must plant seeds.  Let us make that our mission – to plant seeds of love and affirmation in ourselves and in others.



Do You Have A "Book Of Firsts?"

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Do you know what a “Book of Firsts” is? It’s a book in which you record the first time you’ve done something.  These books are very popular at baby showers and can be called – “Baby’s Book of Firsts.”  I recently came across my “Book of Firsts”, which my mom had put together and I’ve posted a few pages so that you can get an idea of what I’m talking about. 

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In this book is recorded my first day home, my first time meeting the family.  Also recorded is my first day of school, my first holy communion, etc., you get the idea.  Cute kid though – right? 

Do you have a “Book of Firsts?”  Since coming across my own book, I got to thinking, I wonder if might consider another type of book.  A “Book of Lasts.”  You might be wondering what that is.  Well, a “Book of Lasts” is similar only this time, you get to record the last time you’ve done something.  The last time you told someone you love them.  The last time you volunteered for a non-profit.  The last time you said you were sorry.  Now I suspect that you’re thinking: “How can I record my ‘Book of Lasts’ when I don’t know if is my last?  I don’t know when my last time for doing something will be!”

And you’re right.  We don’t know when our “lasts” will be.  And precisely for that reason – I think it can help change our perspective.  You see, I think knowing that we will all have a “Book of Lasts” can help us live each moment, each day as if it were our lasts. 

Can you imagine how different life would be if we did that?  How differently we might approach our day-to-day routines if we lived them as if we were recording them in our “Book of Lasts.” 

Can you imagine how different tonight’s dinner would be if we ate dinner it as if it were our last?  How much more would you enjoy the food, the company, the experience?

Can you imagine how different our last night at home would be if we lived it as if it were our last?  Who would you talk to?  Who would you spend time with?  What would you say?

Can you imagine how different your last cup of coffee might taste with your best friend if you knew it were your last?  How much slower you might drink the coffee, how deeper the conversation might be if you knew it was your last? 

What about your last load of laundry?  Last meal prep?  Last house cleaning?  How different would those experiences be if you lived them as if they were your lasts?

I think the point is, to live each moment as if it were our last.

So, as you continue your day, week, month and year… keep in mind that eventually, we will all have the pages recorded in our book of lasts.  And while we don’t know when that will be, we can try to live each moment right now – more fully.  

The Key to Joy and Happiness!

“SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF THE PICTURE OF WHAT YOU THOUGHT LIFE WOULD LOOK LIKE AND LEARN TO FIND THE JOY IN THE STORY YOU’RE LIVING.”

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I absolutely love this saying.  I stumbled across it recently on social media and have been contemplating it’s meaning since. 

Letting go is such a tough thing to do – especially of our expectations.  We all have dreams and expectations of what we want and for the way we hope things will turn out.  But sometime, if not frequently, things don’t end up the way we want them to.  The pain comes when we hold on to what we expect as opposed to letting it go and embracing what we have.  That’s the key really to happiness and peace of mind.  Loving what we have or as the saying goes… “learning to find the joy in the story we are living.”  When we do that, we’re living in the moment.  And almost nothing can make us happier.